Building Relationships Through Communication

This week we finished reading our class novel Mandragora.  As we began exploring the themes of the novel it became clear that the students wanted to spend some time going deeper into two of them: parent/children relationships and communication.

In the novel the main character, Adam Hardy, struggles to express his thoughts and feelings to his Father because he feels that his Father does not understand him and doesn't listen to him.  In the end he records what he wants to say so his Father can listen to him without Adam being in the room.

While some of the students could identify with this, others were totally shocked that a child could have this kind of relationship with a parent.  During our discussion the students shared their thoughts about parents not understanding them, not listening to them, and punishing them by not letting them go certain places or do certain things.  We moved this very interesting conversation into the realms of communication and transition.

Communication - some of the students shared how they communicate their feelings when a decision is made that they are not happy with.  These forms of communication ranged from accepting the decision and moving on, to stomping of the feet and storming out of the room screaming.  We then focused on the value of sharing thoughts and feelings in a calm and collected manner with the purpose being to create understanding from the listener (parents), not just to get your own way.

Transition - the teenage years are definitely a time of transition for the students.  Anyone who has, has had, or worked with, teenagers will attest to that.  What we often overlook is that this is also a time of transition for parents as well, particular if this is the first time going through these years.  I introduced this notion to the students and encouraged them to understand that while life seems difficult for them, every now and then they should try to see things from their parents' perspective and understand that their parents are dealing with transition as well - a transition where their precious child who has been totally dependent on them up to this point, is now wanting more independence and doesn't want Mum and Dad involved in their life as much.  I believe this difficult transition (for parents and students) can be eased a little with open and honest communication.

Life with teenagers, and as a teenager, can be challenging.  It can also be a lot of fun and very rewarding.  I hope the journey is proving to be an enjoyable one for you.